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I like stories or analogies involving bread. Somehow feelings like comfort, safety, friendship, fullness, provision, protection, contentment and love come alive for me just by smelling it! This response seems to be true for many of us, and it’s amazing that bread can do all that.

So I love that Jesus refers to himself as the Bread of Life. He invites us to eat, chew and ingest “Bread;” to ingest Himself, into our very own body and soul. It’s a beautiful picture; a very intimate picture.

Recently the thought of the breadcrumbs has captivated me. Two of the gospels tell us that Jesus had a conversation with a Canaanite woman about breadcrumbs. Both stories seemed to communicate that crumbs were significant; something I would never have concluded.

Crumbs seem small and very insignificant to me. We tend to wipe them off the table and onto the floor or into the trash. I think of the many people who have crossed my path in ministry: kids, parents, staff – people whom I have hardly noticed. Or I remember the many experiences that seemed not only insignificant, but often felt like annoying interruptions.

Deeper still were experiences of disappointment, pain and grief…oh, how I wish I could simply sweep them off the table and into the trash. But as I soak in this picture of Jesus as the Bread of Life, even the people or experiences that feel like crumbs can be filled with His life…and that can change everything.

God implies that crumbs are useful, purposeful and nourishing. I find pleasure in feeding breadcrumbs to small birds or ducks. To the birds they’re not crumbs; they’re the main course! I also use breadcrumbs when I make Italian meatballs…in fact, it’s the crumbs that hold the meat mixture together.

I think crumbs represent a multitude of seemingly insignificant experiences or people in our lives that, in reality, play an important role to the whole of our lives. They are small gifts, hinting of something nourishing and grand, even holding the very presence of God.

Paul writes in Ephesians 3 that as partakers of Jesus we have the capacity to “be filled with the utter fullness of God.” But it seems to me that most of us “bread-partakers” (and sadly, so often including those of us in ministry) simply limp along in life, never really experiencing any sense of fullness deep within our hearts.

We can all identify many reasons for this, but I believe one reason blankets over most others: presence. As author Macrina Wiederkehr puts it, “We have never really learned how to be present with quality to God, to self, to others, to experiences and events, to all created things. We have never learned to gather up the crumbs of whatever appears on our path at every moment. We meet all these lovely gifts only half there. Presence is what we are all starving for.”

A Painted House

A few months ago, while walking early in the morning, my eyes were drawn to an older home. It was crowded over with large, dry brush and trees, and had chipped paint, broken-down wood and fencing. In fact, it was so overgrown and broken that I could hardly see the house itself.

Over several weeks workmen began to restore it. All the overgrown brush was uprooted and cleared away, old fencing was torn down, stucco resurfaced and painted; the old roof, doors, windows, and lights were replaced with functioning and beautiful ones. At the very last, new grass, plants and fencing were added.

I was fascinated with the process, and each day I felt drawn to soak it in. I was likening the house process to a longing within me to get rid of all the overgrown stuff in my life. What was suffocating or hindering me from being the person God created me to be? What were the old windows and doors that needed to be replaced in my life?

I wanted more of the freedom this little house was experiencing and began forming this presence into a prayer: “O, God, help me simplify and clear away the clutter in my life. Put clear focus in my heart to be fully alive in You.”

God is always present to me, but I am seldom truly present to God. My ears and eyes miss Him every day because I limit God to only specific venues of revelation. The house transformed? Those were breadcrumbs of God’s presence to me. I almost missed Him. But when I pay attention to the crumbs, I give God the opportunity to speak to me.

Each of us uniquely experiences presence. Following are some experiences that feed me with their crumbs and draw me to the heart of God. As Wiederkehr says, I am learning to not treat them as leftovers, but as part of the whole loaf of God’s plan for me.

Quiet places for conversation – remind me of the caring, loving, face-to-face relationship that God desires to have with each one of us. They remind me of the community we were created to have with each other. And they remind me to create space to listen to others and simply be together.

Created beauty –

• Creeks, streams, rivers – life is always changing and moving at a different pace. Sometimes it feels like an exciting adventure. Other times it feels scary to go with the current, but I sense God’s invitation to step in. I sense His peace in the moving current.

• Flowers – tiny ones, glorious ones, growing alone or growing in fields…they speak to me of God’s intimate detail, glory, provision and love toward us.

• Large rocks – they are unchanging, dependable and friendly places for sitting, reflecting, and embracing my smallness. They invite me to explore and to keep going.

Failure – urges me to abandon myself to grace, for when committed to God, there is no such thing as failure…only crumbs that nourish me on the journey.

Silence – alone, and alone with others in silence. I am aware of life, respect for it, and an awareness of God’s presence everywhere. And I am more easily able to open my heart to receive from Him.

Sorrow, unanswered questions and disappointment – I begin to taste the freedom of letting go of my manipulative control and instead trusting, even resting, in the mystery and wisdom of God.

Prayer – I’m aware of the mystery of God’s presence as a gift.

I believe our souls are starving for presence. What are the things in your life that draw you to pay attention to God’s presence?

In the midst of your busy life, your busy “ministry” life, what are some ways you can create space and time for these crumbs and feed on them? As Wiederkehr writes,

These experiences are constantly calling out to me, asking that I allow them to bless and nourish me. The only way they can bless me is if I meet them face to face. That means I will need to give them my real presence…Could it be that everything in your life is a stepping stone to holiness if only you recognize that you do have within you the grace to be present to each moment...The crumbs are not the whole loaf, but they can be nourishing if you give them your real presence. And there are no leftovers.¹

May we experience presence in our daily bread; especially the crumbs.  

¹ Macrina Wiederkehr, A Tree Full of Angels: Seeing the Holy in the Ordinary. (New York: Harper Collins, 1990), 26-27.